There’s something about the nature of being human that often seems like we’re looking for a fight. Maybe it’s how we’re brought up. Maybe it’s the whole “no pain, no gain” that is spoken so easily without really examining the implications of following that advice. Actually, maybe it’s not really the nature of being human, but the complete opposite. I don’t think it’s our nature to want to be confrontational or combative. And I’m not even talking about with other people, I’m talking about how we are with ourselves.
Like so many things in our lives, in order to fix something, we search out the problem, and then go at the problem at all angles in order to get rid of it. We focus on the problem. Stare at it, analyze it. We fight the problem. Battle it. Sometimes we spend so much time working on beating the problem we actually BECOME the problem. We are fat. We are anxious. We are injured. We are idiots. We are inconsiderate. We are old. We ARE.
Think about that as it applies to an individual. We say: I AM fat. I AM anxious. I AM injured. I AM an idiot. I AM inconsiderate. I AM old. I AM.
And I ask, really? Is that how you talk to yourself? Is that what you would say to a person you love? Would you point at a friend and tell them they were fat, anxious, injured, idiotic, inconsiderate, and old?
Just sit with yourself for a moment with one hand on your chest and one hand on your stomach, or if you’re unable to do so, just find a comfortable position. Close your eyes. And just breathe nice and relaxed. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Do it for a few breaths, maybe keep going. Just let the breath breathe you. Relax deeper. Feel your hands on your chest. Feel your hand on your belly. Feel the way your lungs move.
That’s you, that’s the I AM.
I think the best way sometimes to address something, a “problem” if you want to call it that, is to go in through another way. If you’re like most people I know that live in a house or grew up in one, even when you enter the house, you don’t even go through the front door. Maybe you use a garage, or a side-door, or the back-door. It’s more comfortable for you that way, usually the front door is the way guests enter, it’s more for show. You have a way to access your home that feels good to you. And this is how I think you should access yourself.
Don’t try to use a battering ram on the front door to get in. HEY BODY I WANT YOU TO CHANGE! HEY ANXIETY STOP BEING THAT WAY! HEY AGE KNOCK IT OFF! Sneak in through the backdoor, curl up on the couch, and read a good book. Put some good music on and dance around. Do some cooking and sing. Maybe roll out your yoga mat and break out some asana to hip-hop for a change. Maybe just sit and breathe.
What I am trying to say is that if you are feeling stuck, you absolutely need to move, but you can move ANYTHING. Move SOMETHING. Move what feels GOOD to move because everything is connected. If you start moving the things you like moving, if you start focusing on the things you like to focus on, you will start to make headway on the things that are really challenging you. Which very often, once you start feeling better, will start to move in a direction that feels good as well. Pet your cat. Scribble in a notebook. Go for a walk around the block. Call up a friend. Take a yoga class. Put one hand on your heart, one on your belly, and breathe.
Stop trying to fight with yourself. Start making friends with yourself. You’re going to be living together for a wonderfully long time.